


Haunted Dream

by Evenseven



Category: Gomorra - La Serie | Gomorrah (TV)
Genre: 4E01 Canon Divergence, Angst, But I'm sweet, Canonical Character Death, Dark, Double-Ficlet, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mention of Mental Health Issues, No Beta, ain't fixed nothing, aka spoilers for season 3 finale, aka the TRUE ending, maybe not, the author can't count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evenseven/pseuds/Evenseven
Summary: A dream haunted Genny’s mind.(ft. retired Ciro)





	Haunted Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I writing this? I have absolutely no idea.

He hadn’t closed his eyes since he got off the yacht, more than a whole day ago. Maybe, just maybe…He still had a tiny fractured scrap of this silly hope, after all these seconds passing by his mind like years, that everything happened last night was nothing more than a dream, that he had _not_ done what he was forced to do.

It wasn’t his fault, it really wasn’t. All of that was blamed upon that dumbass fucker whose blood’s a different color and that piece of shit pet snake of his.

As the freezing air brushing though his burning eyeballs when everything settled and fell back to silence, Genny finally realized it was not a dream at all, and he had killed the only man in existence he cared by his own hand. Was that even possible? What was he thinking back in the fucking yacht?

Genny had made a promise to Ciro before, when they were lying in the same shitty hotel mattress staring at each other’s eyes, those cameral eyes watered and the tears flickered by the leaked daylight under dark curtain so suddenly that he almost panicked instantly, and those dark lips opened before he could say a word, asking him to “let it go” if anything happened. He was never going to answer that kind of request, but Ciro looked so vulnerable and sincere at that split moment, making his heart wrenched and breath shortened. He would comply with anything at that moment, just like how effortless it was for him to sold out his father before.

He had made that promise, and had kept his words soon after.

Disbelief, rage, _heartbroken_, all kinds of emotion tangled in his mind, and how he saw those beautiful eyes watery for the last time, blurred by his own tears. He should had known that Ciro was already planning something back then, planing on blaming himself for all the shit Genny did, and making that stupid sacrifice for him. What was he thinking? How could he even think of the worst plan in the history ever and expect him to play along with it? Ever since Ciro came back from Bulgaria, he had been turning Genny down like he was trying to burry something forever, to solve all the problems by his calculating little brain, only to create more problems and leave a broken Genny behind.

This bastard…How could he ask something like this, make him carrying all their precious memories and living alone?

And that piece of shit Enzo dared to ask him for resuming their business…He should had just crashed that fucker’s spine or made him bleed to death in a tortuously slow fashion.

But no, he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t let Ciro’s sacrifice all in vain. Genny know it’s what Ciro would want, it’s what he always planning to get. Yet the word _sacrifice_ itself hurt him more than enough, and there was no turning back. 

If he knew any of this, he would never…

When the realization hit and Genny finally believed it was not a dream, things before his eyes just faded their colors.

He had wandered back to _that place_, where he first shot a gun towards a stranger, his shaky hand held by _that man _with composed and confident force, like how he held him in arms earlier that night for the last goodbye.

Memory floated like a dream, haunting his mind at this very moment and chocking every sip of oxygen out of him. They knew each other for so many years and had formed such deep unspoken bond, yet out of all the places they used to share secret time, he wandered back here at the end like it was the place where everything started. Only he knew it was not, but he remembered too well his complex emotion that day. The first time he was forced to take a life in his own hands, though Ciro showed too much mercy for him at the end, the confused, terrified, and boastful feeling was fresh as if it happened just yesterday. He was still really retarded back then, cared very little about his family business and a lot more about having fun, and he had always been stupid enough growing up in a spoiled environment, thinking he was a “real man” and can achieve anything if he tried, even it’s to protect his only “brother” that he really cared. And Ciro had indulged him to think this way as well, even covered for his cowardice in that hit against his father for god knows what cost, but it was that time Genny truly realized he was never such a brave man back then. He was not protecting Ciro at all, but the other way around. And Ciro had done it agin and agin throughout all his life, even at the very end, he sacrificed himself to protect Genny.

Some kind of hero he was, making all the stupid moves in rage so that Ciro had to clean up his mess for him.

He crashed down to the floor, having half a panic attack realizing it might all be his own fault. After all, he was the one pulling the trigger. The voices inside his head were getting so loud that he couldn’t hear anything else, something he hadn’t experienced for a long time since he came back from Honduras.

“Breath, stay calm.” Like how he told himself to do, how his doctor taught him to do, how that time Ciro held him in an embrace, planting soft kisses by his left ear, a warm and delicate voice he almost never heard before, telling him to calm down and everything will we fine, they will work it through together.

But this time he was cold and alone, he knew he had a home to go back but no one could every again stroke the string in his heart anymore.

Azzurra held him in her arms, trying to comfort him with all her tenderness. She was such a thoughtful and beautiful woman with a shrewd mind, but she could never understand.

She told him they were always alone, but he knew he was never really alone, until this point.

She told him to get some rest, and offered her gentle embrace as company, but he just couldn’t close his eyes.

Every time he tried, that dream came back to haunt his mind. Every piece of those precious memories they once shared, all the intricate emotions set his eyes in flame.

It wasn’t suppose to be like this…

He kept his promise and went with Ciro’s plan, met with Enzo and settle the business like he would had wanted, kept the best calm face he could to restrict himself from strangling that fucker with one hand.

He wandered back to Ciro’s dreary hotel room, again half unconsciously, not knowing what could he still achieve under this situation. He laid down on that shitty mattress, the meagre room had never felt so empty before. At least that pillow smelled like Ciro, a lot of smoky scent with a light note of cocoa, like the perfume he used to use a long time ago, or maybe it was just Genny’s hallucination.

Ciro left him nothing to memorize their…

Their love, a thing he had not been able to say before and now it was too late.

And suddenly he heard a click of the door lock, fuck, Genny thought the death glare he threw at the counter lady was enough for him to be left without bothering, at least for a little big longer.

He blinked at the empty ceiling, didn’t even try to move when the door swung open, he was too tired to deal with whoever that hotel staff might be to come in and clean the room, he was afraid that he would take out his rage on some irrelevant strangers.

But he heard the only thing he had not expected, an almost inaudible sigh and _that_ voice calling his name: “Genna’…”

His brain stopped working for a second, he kept blinking at the ceiling until he sat up abruptly from the bed, the scene before his eyes made his heart pounding thunderously.

And there’s Ciro Di Marzio standing by the entryway, covered in all black hoodie and loosen trousers, looking at him with a pair of weary eyes with a spark of olive starlight flickering inside.

Maybe he did need all those pills, concluded Genny, because it must be really bad when your hallucination became a bit too real, or maybe the haunted dream just wouldn’t let him go.

“You…How—What am I…” He found his voice but not his words, quivering like a pathetic psycho already, to believe what he was seeing.

“I’m sorry, Genna’, I had to…This was the only way that could set peace between you and Enzo.”

Oh no, it was not peace, it was a hatred that’s so much deeper than before.

“Am I dreaming of you again? But this time you’re not naked in bed?” Genny held himself up to his feet, the horizon change didn’t make the scene any more blurry like it should, so he stepped closer to the figure until their faces were inches away. Ciro’s face looked pretty much exactly the same as a day ago, before they had reached that yacht party.

The man before him managed to form a subtle smile, he reached out a hand silently to cup the side of his chin, then leaned closer to press a kiss on his cheek: “I’m the Immortal, remember?”

His touch, warm and vivid; his kiss, soft yet full of life.

“What—Ciro, I’m not crazy or am I?” His eyes widen in shock, “You are not—”

“Dead? No, I tried really hard to set things up, ‘cos I know Enzo would not let me off easily and he was…”

“Don’t ‘Enzo’ this ‘Enzo’ that anymore! You fucking stupid shithead! Fooled me like this and I was so…!” Genny couldn’t believe what he just heard, but his body acted more quickly than his head to enwind his arms around the other man’s shoulder, closed the space in between to form an embrace tighter than ever, “Heartbroken, I was, and your devilish trick got me so frightened…I thought, I thought I really lost you and it was all my fault! I…”

God, he really shouldn’t be crying right now, but he couldn’t hold his tears after all that little snake tricked him to believe that he lost the only one he loved and cared so deeply.

“I’m sorry,” Ciro voice vibrated against his shoulder, “I wasn’t suppose to come back here, but I have to get a chance of proper goodbye.”

“…What?”

“I’m leaving, Genna’, some place further than Bulgaria maybe. I’m not coming back anymore.”

Now it’s another moment that Genny started to question his comprehension, or why was Ciro leaving him again when he just got back from the death?

He felt the man in his embrace trembled a little, like he was trying to get away from him, but he would never let that happen, not again. So Genny closed his arms even tighter, this feeling of secure and joyful was something he missed for a long time now.

“Ge’…You remember you promised to let me go? I know I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark before, but I was truly planning to leave…I came back from Bulgaria ‘cos I couldn’t stand the…coldness there anymore. I came back to find my own end, turned out that I longed for you more than I thought I would. I wanted to stand by your side once agin till I realized my presence was not doing you any good, as always I guess.” Ciro didn’t try to get away again, but he voice was definitely closer and clearer to him like this, he spoke with a decisive tone, “And I’m so tired, Genna’, I can’t do this any longer, to be able to touch you but I know it will end badly one day. So I think of this retirement plan, and it’s working out beautifully so far.”

“_Retirement_ plan?” Genny ground his teeth, “You mean leaving me here broken and alone, knowing it was me who put you in that grave-less grave?”

“I’m really sorry, hate me if you need to…but it was the best way I set things right, it still is.”

“Hate you? You fucking…” Genny finally loosed up his grip and backed away to look at those watery eyes, “How can I ever hate you…more than I love you? Shit, Ciru’, you always knew this, I love you…”

“I know,” Ciro sighed while looking back at him, “I love you too, so I can’t risk all of it again.”

Genny let go of his shoulder, feeling like the hallucination was going to dissolve, but it didn’t.

“And I’m really tired, Ge’, I’m…I just want a peace of mind, in a quiet place, to finally rest, or die, or whatever. I don’t need that thrill or the profit, I have nothing to chase after and no one to hold in hands. I’m retired.”

Maybe it’s better to believe that it was all of a haunted dream in his mind, if he had to live on with his foolish promise and shattered heart. But despite all the emotions he felt shameful enough to admit, a tiny slice in the bottom of his rational mind told him that Ciro was never wrong, it was indeed a working plan in that chaotic situation. And he had always known, _witnessed_, how weary and broken Ciro was since he lost his family, how much of a struggling he was going through all this time. Though he wanted to say he could try his best to fix everything for Ciro, but he just experienced how hard it was to fix a shattered heart.

And it was always better to know that he did _not_ kill the one he loved, or he doubted his already wounded brain was strong enough to take the guilt any longer. And it didn’t mean that he would show any mercy toward that shithead Sangue Blu and his kindergarten gang.

“So this is our end then? You are _retired_ and fuck off to some nameless shit-nest again and never coming back?”

“The deed was done. Nothing really change, Genna’, as if I was still in the bottom of the water, or I never came back from Bulgaria.” Of his surprise, Ciro started a kiss, dark lips gently pressed on this own, a kiss full of love and desperation but not frantic in anyway, a farewell kiss, “Just know these three things: one, you are the only one that deserves my sacrifice and I would do it _for real_ without hesitation; two, I will send you postcard.”

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise, it's a comedy.
> 
> -  
In the opening pic:  
"If I say I wanna leave for freedom  
I mean I wanna be caught by you only"  
_Morning Coffee_ by Jesper Munk


End file.
